O-! Naruto Nippon! - Episode 16
19th January, 2004

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Starring:
Uzumaki Naruto - Takeuchi Junko
Orochimaru - Kujira

Mentioned:
Gaara - Ishida Akira
Hatake Kakashi - Inoue Kazuhiko
Umino Iruka - Seki Toshihiko
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NARUTO
We're on air from the studio of the Hidden Leaf, from the other side of the Herz!
We're going to have a crunching good time today too!
Kyu kyu!
Aniplex Hour!
Uzumaki Naruto's Oo! Naruto Nippon!
Uiizu! I'm Takeuchi Junko, the personality of this show datte ba yo!
And the ManPa who's doing this program with me is this person!
The traitor who moves around in the shadowy under-world.
One of the Sannin who walks the legends of Konoha!
The voice of Orochimaru - Kujira-san DOESU!

OROCHIMARU
My name is Orochimaru DATTE BA YO!!!!
Good evening! I'm the voice of Orochimaru. I'm KUJIRA!! DOESU!! DOESU!!
Datte ba yo!

NARUTO
Datte ba yo!!!
You wanted to say that didn't you? You wanted to say that!

OROCHIMARU
I really wanted to say that!
I really did.

NARUTO
It's such a good word.
It's a bit late but I have something to ask Kujira-san.

OROCHIMARU
Yes, what may that be.

NARUTO
It's been 18 days since 2004.
What's your resolution for this year?

OROCHIMARU
For this year?
I want to master my Aiyaya.
I saw them do it on Kouhaku and think I can do it as well.
I think I can definitely do it.

NARUTO
You think you can.

OROCHIMARU
I think I can.
I'll definitely master it.
And somehow I'll be able to use it for something

NARUTO
Somehow you will.
Like, 'Please let me off.' (kanben shite ne)

OROCHIMARU
Like, 'Please let me off.'
Don't really know how...

NARUTO
Or do you mean 'Gimme an enema!'? (kanchou shite ne - a play on words here)

OROCHIMARU
Remember it properly!
Just make sure you understand it, okay?

NARUTO
I see.
Everybody, please tell me.
I don't understand.
What do you mean though?
Is it just a little puchipuchi thing?

OROCHIMARU
It's like, 'Aiyaya! Aiyaya!'
Like, eh... ne ne?

NARUTO
So when you master this, take a video.
We'll give it to three of our listeners as a present.
/IF/ you can master it.

OROCHIMARU
If I can. Indeed.

NARUTO
And as for my resolution.
I noticed it this year but...
It seems like my voice acting age is getting older.
So it's like, I want to advance and survive with honourably, and in good cheer.

OROCHIMARU
I see.
My voice acting age is somewhere near level 60, I think.

NARUTO
Oh wow!
They say a girl has about two times to be thirty, after all!

OROCHIMARU
Yes, two times to be thirty.
From about thirty-two to thirty-seven?
It's already over for me.

NARUTO
That's so good.

OROCHIMARU
That was so long ago already.
I'm beyond going for guys anymore.
I'll just have to wait for sixty now.
I feel greatly.

NARUTO
All right!
In this program, if your mail gets read out your rank will increase accordingly.
In other words, it's a selection test based on your strength!
Currently, all of you listening to the radio are candidates for graduation in the Academy.
According to how often your mail is read out, you'll raise to the Genin, Chuunin and Jounin ranks!

OROCHIMARU
If you get to Jounin what do you get?

NARUTO
If you become Jounin you'll be invited to the studio!
It's great!

OROCHIMARU
Call me when it happens!

NARUTO
Yes~
So let's introduce some mails without delay!
I'll start first.
Academy Student from Saitama, Mako-san.
Thank you for your mail.
"Jun-chan, Kujira-san, good evening!"
Good evening!
"Junko-san you don't seem to have noticed so I'll tell you.
You can tell if you're a blood type B by just looking at the person.
Especially since I'm blood type A, so I'm very perceptive.
If I think that person is a B more or less he or she will be one.
How can you tell?
I guess, the speech and conduct."

OROCHIMARU
What kind of speech and conduct?

NARUTO
"I can't really tell you clearly what it means now. But be careful."
Be careful?

OROCHIMARU
What does she mean, be careful?
That's rude.

NARUTO
And anyway, Kujira-san you're B-type too aren't you?

OROCHIMARU
Yes, I'm B!

NARUTO
So if you talk about this to the both of us, we won't understand.

OROCHIMARU
Yes, we won't.

NARUTO
I don't know who said it but,
it seems like men who are born under Scorpio and of type B are bad.

OROCHIMARU
That's a bit too much.
Scorpio...

NARUTO
It means that my onii-chan is bad!
But he's not bad! My onii-chan is a good man!

OROCHIMARU
He is?

NARUTO
He doesn't have a girlfriend but!
But he's a really good man! I really like my onii-chan so!
Someone please go out with my onii-chan!

OROCHIMARU
Okay!

NARUTO
OOH!
What a shock.
Is this a couple-matching service show?

OROCHIMARU
Will you introduce me to him?
Introduce us?

NARUTO
I will I will!

OROCHIMARU
Okay, so here's the next mail.
Academy Student from Tokyo, Penname Ami-nyaan!

NARUTO
Thank you for your mail!

OROCHIMARU
"Good evening! I'm Ami!
I'm always having a good time listening!
My mother says it's good to always listen to O-! NARUTO Nippon during Mondays before I sleep!
In my primary school - ah, she forgot to write two strokes out of three here - the Henge no Jutsu is really popular!"

NARUTO
She's so cute!

OROCHIMARU
So cute!

NARUTO
You're trying to aim for Aiyaya perfection but Ami is good too.
Ami desu!

OROCHIMARU
That's right!
So I think I going to attune my Aiyaya to cute-perfection from now on!

NARUTO
It all boils down to practice.

OROCHIMARU
Practice! Practice!

NARUTO
Let's work hard!

OROCHIMARU
Yes!

NARUTO
And with that, let's go WILD all the way to the end today as well!
Give your night to me tte ba yo!

OROCHIMARU
Fight for my sake. I will make you stronger if you do that. Nfun.

NARUTO
Aniplex Hour
This program was brought to you by Aniplex, Sony Music Entertainment and Showa-Note.

Aniplex Hour!
Uzumaki Naruto's Oo! Naruto Nippon!

COMMERCIAL
We're gaining popularity!
The DVD series is going to be powered up even more from next year on!
Our story's burning hot with one new season!
And we've got some yet to be seen footages all inside too!
NARUTO Second Stage - Scroll One!
On sale from January 1st by Aniplex!
2004 is the Year of Naruto!

Aniplex Hour!
Uzumaki Naruto's Oo! Naruto Nippon!

NARUTO
Ore no Nindou!
Watashi no Nindou!
This is the section where we introduce the ways of life of the listeners - their Nindou!
Let's hear my Nindou first tte ba yo!
Takeuchi Junko's Nindou!
When I get home, I'll play the violin on the game Tomi-san gave me!
This is Watashi no Nindou Datte ba yo!
So what's this all about.

OROCHIMARU
What is that?

NARUTO
When I was doing work for NARUTO in the past, I went to the booth of Tomi-san to play a bit and they were having a new product at that time - a violin-shaped game.
And what's that all about?
You know we have all these new musical genres for games?
Like playing the guitar, etc?
So now there's a violin type.
And you really do pull the strings the way the musicians do.

OROCHIMARU
You... play it like they do?

NARUTO
There's something installed inside, I think.
Something that when you play or press it, it senses it.
So when you change a fret it also changes.
So it can really play a song.
There are a lot of songs for you to choose from.

OROCHIMARU
Ah. You choose one.
So it's all already chosen?

NARUTO
Yes.
But I'm always missing the timing so I'm lousy at it.
When I hook it up to the TV I have to watch the screen.
It just keeps going on and I really can't get it after a while.
So they have this indicator for how many percent you get it right.
And my percentage just goes down to zero from hundred after a while.

OROCHIMARU
I see.

NARUTO
It's interesting but I can't... just can't pull the strings.
And then after that my chest starts hurting.

OROCHIMARU
Ah right. It's got a violin shape.

NARUTO
That's right.
It hurts.
Actually I'm supposed to be practicing guitar, not violin.

OROCHIMARU
You understand your situation after all!

NARUTO
Yeah, I just noticed now.
Let's forget about what I said.
Let's listen to Kujira-san's Nindou!

OROCHIMARU
Yes!
Kujira's Nindou!
When I eat ramen, if there is strong raayuu I'll mix it into the bowl.
(raayuu is a kind of spicy chinese oil)
This is Watashi no Nindou datte ba yo!

NARUTO
If you blend so much together you can actually taste it?

OROCHIMARU
That's why you just have to order something simple!
That's what I think.
You see, ramen is a bit bland by itself.
Just put some sauce or oil onto the noodles.
Feels like barbequed food.

NARUTO
Just a bit, I guess. Yeah.

OROCHIMARU
I always put it in.
Put the sauce into the sour soup.

NARUTO
I see.
They made me do it some time back.
At the ramen shop.
They said if it's sour then it'll be more delicious.
I really didn't know how much I to put in so I took the cap off-

OROCHIMARU
You put too much in!

NARUTO
I couldn't stop the thing from coming out!

OROCHIMARU
That's a bit too much.
I like putting a lot in too but!
But still, you put too much in. Just a bit will do.
For that barbeque feel.

NARUTO
Then I couldn't help it, I had to add some soy sauce too.
Then I started adding more and more things.
The whole thing became strangely coloured.

OROCHIMARU
THat's a bit rude to the ramen shop.

NARUTO
That's right! But I had to eat it anyway.
Blended soup is a bit difficult to swallow too...

OROCHIMARU
If you put a bit of raayuu in.
It's delicious.
A bit spicy, but good.

NARUTO
Basically you like it.

OROCHIMARU
That's right.
So I take gyouza with strong raayuu too.
(gyouza = Japanese crescent-shaped pan-fried dumplings stuffed with minced pork and vegetables)

NARUTO
You don't put soy sauce?

OROCHIMARU
I don't put soy sauce.
Strong raayuu.

NARUTO
The soy sauce is so pitiful.

OROCHIMARU
But when you already put strong raayuu in!
Even if you put something else you probably can't taste anything.

NARUTO
But when it's tofu it's soy sauce.
That has to be that.
That's good.

OROCHIMARU
Of course tofu goes with soy sauce!

NARUTO
What about shuumai?
(chinese styled steamed meat dumpling)

OROCHIMARU
Soy sauce and mustard.

NARUTO
I take dark sauce.

OROCHIMARU
Isn't that... unorthodox?

NARUTO
Why?? Everybody's mumbling! Bastards!

OROCHIMARU
Won't that be a bit too sweet?

NARUTO
It's good enough for children!
They put it all in our bentou boxes!

OROCHIMARU
Are you still a child?

NARUTO
I'm still like that.

OROCHIMARU
I never had it in my bentou before!

NARUTO
No way!
Don't tell me only my family does that?!
Oh no.

OROCHIMARU
I think your mother just put dark sauce in at that time because she ran out of soy sauce!

NARUTO
Maybe, damn!
So anyway, with that. Let's introduce some by the listeners, okay?
Academy Student from Tokyo, Hikamaru-san's Nindou!
The Nindou of my cat!
"She sits on my stomach every morning!
This is (probably) Watashi no Neko no Nindou Datte ba yo!"

OROCHIMARU
She said (probably)!
You won't understand even if you asked the cat.

NARUTO
But the cat'll sit on her.

OROCHIMARU
So cute.

NARUTO
My cats get on too.
They get their paws on and stretch on you.
They start stretching on you. Streeeeeeeetch~

OROCHIMARU
My dog likes to sniff backsides.
It seems like the dogs communicate through sniffing backsides.

NARUTO
Apparently so.
When a dog meets a dog he doesn't know, it'll be bad if they don't get used to the other one, right?

OROCHIMARU
So it's a good meaning that they sniff each other's backsides.

NARUTO
Cats... like to lick each other's backsides too.
No wait, this is the wrong subject.

OROCHIMARU
Maybe that's their form of communication.

NARUTO
That's right.
They also lick each other's fur.
Licky lick.
So when another one comes then they'd get a slap on the cheek.

OROCHIMARU
Isn't it just that they're not on good terms?

NARUTO
It's so strange.
Do dogs do that to humans too, anyway?

OROCHIMARU
I guess they do.
But well, how to say this.
But when dogs, like my dog, comes near a human, he goes naturally for the smelliest part.
Like the socks.

NARUTO
So yeah, he's embarrassed!
Like, don't look at me!

OROCHIMARU
They love strong smells.

NARUTO
Don't come near me!
Yes yes, cats do that too.
So yeah, next time, it doesn't have to be like this but you can tell us your dog's Nindou.

OROCHIMARU
My dog's Nindou?
I understand.

NARUTO
That was, the Ore no Nindou, Watashi no Nindou section!
We're still waiting for all of your Nindous tte ba yo!

Aniplex Hour!
Uzumaki Naruto's Oo! Naruto Nippon!

COMMERCIAL
The new comic series of Gravitation has evolved into a drama cd!
There are now new characters, and the drama is powered up!
It's also got the new single Fake Star by me, Shindou Shuuichi!
A super high-tension dangerous love comedy!
Gravitation Drama CD Volume 1!
On sales from Aniplex from January 28th!

I'm Anita.
I'm the best, but anyway, I'm Anita.
Crybaby Anita's exciting drama!
The series is over it's middle stage now!
R.O.D. The TV, DVD.
Hot off the press from Aniplex!

Aniplex Hour!
Uzumaki Naruto's Oo! Naruto Nippon!

NARUTO
NARUTO, Naruhodo Jouhou! (Naruto's Oh-I-See Information Corner)
In this section, we'll be pushing out special NARUTO information.
The one who'll be introducing it to us will be the Kunoichi ninja from Aniplex - Minami-chan!

MINAMI
Pleased to be of service.

NARUTO
What information have you brought for us today?

MINAMI
Yes!
We announced this during last year end too, but, it is finally going on sale this very week!
The O-! NARUTO Nippon Radio DJ CD is finally on sale.
I've brought it with me today.

NARUTO
You've told us about it last year end but Kujira-san doesn't know.

OROCHIMARU
I don't.

NARUTO
So please explain it to Kujira-san.

OROCHIMARU
What kind of a CD is this? Minami-chan.

MINAMI
In a word - it's a radio CD.

OROCHIMARU
That's not a word!

MINAMI
You see, O-! NARUTO Nippon started airing on October last year.
So we've recorded the first round of monthly personality, Ishida Akira-san (Gaara) all the way to Inoue Kazuhiko-san's (Kakashi) round.
And also!

NARUTO
October, November.

OROCHIMARU
From October to November.

MINAMI
Yes.
Also the special personality Paku Romi-san has been recorded inside too.
This is what the DJ CD contains.
Those who have been listening to the radio, and those who have missed some episodes, some of you may want to listen to it again.
And also, we have some parts that were never aired recorded in as well.
So that's in too.

OROCHIMARU
The secret section!

NARUTO
The scary parts. The parts they had to BEEP BEEP BEEP out.

OROCHIMARU
Oh no! What to do!

NARUTO
Ah, there's a first press edition that comes with this, right?

MINAMI
Yes, that's right. There's a special sticker with the illustration of the cover that comes with the first press.
We've talked about the jacket cover before.
Ishida Akira-san's Gaara and Inoue Kazuhiko-san's Kakashi-sensei and of course, Naruto, all of them are here.
This is very cute.

NARUTO
This is a scene that looks like they're doing the radio together.
Very cute.

OROCHIMARU
So cute.

NARUTO
Gaara's not listening.
Naruto's angry.
Kakashi-sensei's not using his brain at all.

OROCHIMARU
He's just staring into space.

NARUTO
It's so cute.

MINAMI
It's got a different feel from the DVD and soundtrack covers that have been released thus far.
It's a very sweet jacket.
Please obtain it!

OROCHIMARU
This is good.

NARUTO
So anyway, if the sales for this CD is good.
The second and third CDs will be released as well, right?

OROCHIMARU
Yes, let the second and third ones come out!
Don't you dare not let my part be released!

NARUTO
Kujira-san will be on the 2nd CD if all goes well!

OROCHIMARU
Yes I will.

NARUTO
It's December through January, after all.

MINAMI
There are a lot of other personalities that have yet to go onto CD that will appear on this show!
So if you wish to hear them on CD please absolutely buy!

NARUTO
Only two of the personalities are on CD!

OROCHIMARU
Let my part be on CD!

NARUTO
Still so many to go!

OROCHIMARU
Still so many, yeah.
They'd be so bitter if they don't get published.

NARUTO
Yes, they would!
So everybody, it's going on sale on January 21st.
It's going on sale then so everybody, please buy!
That was, the Naruto Naruhodo Jouhou, thank you very much Aniplex's Kunoichi Ninja Minami-chan!
We've come to the end of O-! NARUTO Nippon in such a short while!
We're collecting feedback from you all for the program!
Send your questions to the cast, and of course, Henge no Jutsu suggestions, your Nindou, Music Care, etc etc!
If your mail gets read out you'll get /something/ good as a present.
Where should your missives all go to? Kujira-san please!

OROCHIMARU
Yes!
Postcards should go to:
PO 552-8501
Radio Oosaka
O-! Naruto Nippon
Email should be in small letters:
naruto@obc1314.com

NARUTO
Gather your chakra to your fingers and send your mails and postcards to the program!
Send them all in and you can become a hero datte ba yo!
We'll be broadcasting with all our chakra next week as well!
Kujira-san you'll be the ManPa for next week as well.
Pleased to continue learning from you!

OROCHIMARU
Yay! It's still my turn!

NARUTO
We'll be revealing Kujira-san's true colours next week.

OROCHIMARU
Aww man!

NARUTO
Very pleased.
By the way, we'll just talk about it here.
The ManPa tentatively on the line.
We've got rumours that it'll be the voice of Iruka-sensei, Seki Toshihiko-san!

OROCHIMARU
Isn't that good?

NARUTO
I wonder what will happen.
So see you again same time next week!
You've been listening to Takeuchi Junko and!

OROCHIMARU
Kujira!

BOTH
Bye bye!


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7.August.2004


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