O-! Naruto Nippon! - Episode 06
10th November, 2003

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Starring:
Uzumaki Naruto - Takeuchi Junko
Hatake Kakashi - Inoue Kazuhiko
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NARUTO
We're on air from the studio of the Hidden Leaf, from the other side of the Herz!
We're going to have a crunching good time today too!
Aniplex Hour!
Uzumaki Naruto's Oo! Naruto Nippon!
Good evening! I'm Takeuchi Junko, the voice of Naruto, the personality of this show!
And, the ManPa who's with the show together with me is this person!

KAKASHI
Aa~ A lovely blond gal asked me for directions while I was coming here.
That made me really, seriously late.
Good evening!
I'm Inoue Kazuhiko, the voice of Hatake Kakashi.

NARUTO
Yes anyway, this is your second appearance.
Pleased to be learning from you!

KAKASHI
Pleasure's all mine!

NARUTO
Very pleased!
And so, a bit of explanation now.
In this program, if your mail gets read out your rank will increase accordingly.
In other words, it's a selection test based on your strength!
Currently, all of you listening to the radio are candidates for graduation in the Academy.
If your mail gets read once, you become Genin.
If your mail gets read out ten times, you become Chuunin.

KAKASHI
Wow.

NARUTO
And if your mail gets read out thirty times!
You're branded as elite.

KAKASHI
Cool!

NARUTO
You become a Jounin.

KAKASHI
Wow!

NARUTO
Just like Kakashi-sensei!

KAKASHI
Joudan! (you must be joking!)

NARUTO
So... wait, what did you say?

KAKASHI
Jounin!

NARUTO
We'll also invite that person to the studio!

KAKASHI
That's great!

NARUTO
Everybody, do your best and send your mails all in!

KAKASHI
Will we be invited too?

NARUTO
Where did you hear that from?
Nothing's been decided yet!
Well, if someone gets their mail read out thirty times we'll think about it then.
So let's introduce some mails tte ba yo!
Here I go.

KAKASHI
Yes!

NARUTO
Academy Student Aniki-san from Ehimei's Nindou.
"When my cat gets on the piano to play, I join in with high-speed!
This is Watashi no Nindou datte ba yo!"

KAKASHI
She joins in playing in a hurry?

NARUTO
No!
But I understand this!
You'd play it like, really really really really really quick.

KAKASHI
Wonderful.

NARUTO
I like it too.

KAKASHI
Try your best.
Academy Student Kunai no Niau Tonari no Ko-san from Wakayama's Nindou.
"I'll read my porn in front of my parents with no hesitation whatsoever.
This is Ore no Nindou datte ba yo!"
I understand.

NARUTO
You understand.

KAKASHI
He's got guts.

NARUTO
Yes, he does.
I think you'll lose that courage after you reach a certain age?

KAKASHI
Like me, I can't do it.

NARUTO
Of course, you probably don't do it now...

KAKASHI
No, I can't do it because I don't read porn.

NARUTO
You don't...
I see...
Academy Student from Saitama, Rakiya-san.
"Morning routine must be 15 minutes only!
This is Watashi no Nindou datte ba yo!"

KAKASHI
So cute.

NARUTO
I understand this.
I'm definitely someone of this type too.

KAKASHI
Right.

NARUTO
I'll sleep until the last possible moment.
Then with a start I'll wake up.

KAKASHI
You can't estimate your time properly.

NARUTO
I can't...
Although I wish I could, I just end up falling asleep anyway.

KAKASHI
Academy Student from Oosaka, Pumpkin-san's Nindou!
"Before stepping into the toilet, I must strip first.
This is Ore no Nindou datte ba yo!"
I see.
Well you don't need them when you go the toilet anyway.
So he strips.

NARUTO
Kazuhiko-san's voice is so slimey.

KAKASHI
What'd happen if he was at school?

NARUTO
Well he said he has to strip first!

KAKASHI
The students would be like, "He's stripping! He's stripping!"

NARUTO
So funny!

KAKASHI
"Wow, he looks like he's enjoying himself!"
"Is that a demonstration?"

NARUTO
I wonder if he meant he'd strip to the skin?

KAKASHI
Seems like he won't rest till he strips bare.

NARUTO
Well if he's wearing overalls then he /has/ to strip it all...
That's just-

KAKASHI
Well if he masters the art of stripping before entering even once...
He won't be able to stop, right?

NARUTO
Then it'll- yeah, that's right...
And with that, let's go WILD all the way to the end today as well!

KAKASHI
You guys should try it too.

NARUTO
Give your night to me tte ba yo!

KAKASHI
Hey, don't underestimate the adults too much.

NARUTO
Aniplex Hour
This program was brought to you by Aniplex, Sony Music Entertainment and Showa-Note.

Aniplex Hour!
Uzumaki Naruto's Oo! Naruto Nippon!

COMMERCIAL
Big news, big news!
Our story is quickly becoming available in video format!
Sasuke's powers are going out of control because of the Cursed Seal from Orochimaru.
And the scroll-snatching gets even more intense!
What is the secret behind those scrolls?
NARUTO video series - Scroll Twelve - coming your way December the 3rd!

Aniplex Hour!
Uzumaki Naruto's Oo! Naruto Nippon!

NARUTO
Narikiri, Henge no Jutsu~
And now, the monthly personality Kazuhiko-san and I will throw off all our restraints and compete against each other with a Henge no Jutsu.

KAKASHI
I'll work hard!

NARUTO
We'll transform into what's written on the cards we draw out from the pile, and see who does the better complete change.
Yes, let's work hard.

KAKASHI
I'll work hard!

NARUTO
In addition! On the part of the person who loses, we have a punishment game in store. A game called 'Training.'

KAKASHI
I'll work hard!

NARUTO
And that is, he has to perform the Oiroke no Jutsu.

KAKASHI
... GEH!?
I bullied you too much last week and this week I feel like I'm being bullied in return.

NARUTO
Of course, we'll decide by the majority.
The staff will decide on the winner.
But - /I/ am the one who will announce the results.

KAKASHI
Darn.
I'll work hard.

NARUTO
Let's work hard!
So Kazuhiko-san, draw a card please?

KAKASHI
From here?

NARUTO
Please. Draw one.

KAKASHI
Then!
An order from... Cafe-san.

NARUTO
An order.

KAKASHI
Right.
A listener who got his real name read out though he wrote in a radio name.

NARUTO
And you have to transform into that.

KAKASHI
... this request seems kind of incomplete.

NARUTO
Kazuhiko-san don't put up a show!

KAKASHI
This is such an incomplete request!

NARUTO
Now... so just say 'Henge,' and try it out?

KAKASHI
Henge!
Noo!! How could they! My name is /Cafe/!! Idiots!
Why the heck did you read my real name?!
I don't believe this!
I'm not sending anything ever again!
Grrrr...
I'm CAFE! I told you!
What are you thinking! Dammit!

NARUTO
You didn't have to get so angry~

KAKASHI
Oh, you'd prefer a version that's not so angry?

NARUTO
Well, I guess there /are/ people who get angry and impatient when their real names get read out.

KAKASHI
They would?

NARUTO
Indeed.
What's that fufu?

KAKASHI
I'd prefer to have my real name read.

NARUTO
Really?

KAKASHI
That's why I used my real name - Inoue Kazuhiko.

NARUTO
I see.
Me too.
Takeuchi Junko.

KAKASHI
My classmates would all know - Ah! There he is!

NARUTO
Yes yes! It'd be easier to promote myself too.

KAKASHI
Yes, it'd be easier.

NARUTO
Then in other words, we're like-

KAKASHI
Let's use their real names next time.

NARUTO
Then their real names... wait wait, not this person.

KAKASHI
You were about to read his real name out!

NARUTO
Now it's my turn.
Around here?
Academy Student from Oosaka, someone?
Name... a! Kage-san!
Thank you for your mail.

KAKASHI
Thank you for your mail.

NARUTO
Oh no.
Change into hen who got her egg taken away.
A hen who got her egg taken away.
Daaarn, so difficult!

KAKASHI
Let's do it.

NARUTO
Yes.
Henge!
Aa... I want to go the toilet.
But I have to look after my egg- AH!
It got taken away...
But oh well.
That's right.
Good bye, my child.
Now, let's go to the toilet!
Patapatapatapatapatapatapatapata... kyu kyu!
(patapata = sfx for footsteps)
Yup!

KAKASHI
What's that kyu kyu thing all about?

NARUTO
When she just finished her business and her backside goes kyu kyu.

KAKASHI
What a cold parent...

NARUTO
Ain't that right.
But you see...

KAKASHI
The toilet is more important than her child.

NARUTO
What do you mean?
Nobody can fight against nature, you know?

KAKASHI
Nothing of that sort!

NARUTO
Really?

KAKASHI
You're a parent!

NARUTO
But how do you do your business with an egg-

KAKASHI
And that was your child!

NARUTO
My child.
But I don't have children.

KAKASHI
Hm, that's another matter altogether.

NARUTO
Then I guess I have room for change.
If I eventually have my own children, I might have a change of mind.

KAKASHI
You might!

NARUTO
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Something like that?

KAKASHI
Stop right there!, or something like that.

NARUTO
You moron!, or stuff, eh?
But this is my current situation.

KAKASHI
I see.

NARUTO
Ah! What a cold person!

KAKASHI
That's right.

NARUTO
And so, let's decide who wins.
The staff in the studio will decide.
Please raise your hands.
Raise your hands if you think Kazuhiko-san was better.
Okay.
Raise your hands if you think Takeuchi was better.

KAKASHI
Hey, wait.

NARUTO
And thus, I am the winner.

KAKASHI
No way!
I won!

NARUTO
I won.

KAKASHI
What the-

NARUTO
And now, for one unit of training, we'll let him do the Oiroke no Jutsu!

KAKASHI
Hang on a bit!
You're pretty fast at trying to get this done, eh?

NARUTO
The basics are Bon, Kyuu, Bon.
Give us a sexy, sexy, really sexy one.

KAKASHI
What should I say?

NARUTO
Say 'Oiroke no Jutsu,' then, give us a sexy... one. Please.

KAKASHI
Like, nfu~?

NARUTO
Yes, thank you, do it for us!
So, please!

KAKASHI
Oiroke no Jutsu!
Nfu~... I've been waiting...
Aren't you late today...
Yes... take your suit off...
Yes... Sake for you? A bath?
A bath?
Aww... then you'd have to strip some more...
Nfufufufu... I know you so well...
Oh, such lovely chest hair...
Aha~n

NARUTO
Disgusting!

KAKASHI
But you wanted an Oiroke no Jutsu.

NARUTO
Why did you become a girl, Kazuhiko-san?

KAKASHI
... but it was the Oiroke no Jutsu.

NARUTO
You mean you can't do an Oiroke no Jutsu without becoming a girl?

KAKASHI
No I can't- yeah, right.

NARUTO
"Chikubi (nipple),"
was that what you said?
Disgusting!

KAKASHI
I didn't say that.

NARUTO
Then what did you say?

KAKASHI
I said chichige (chest hair).

NARUTO
That's even...
And with that, that was the Narikiri Henge no Jutsu section!

Aniplex Hour!
Uzumaki Naruto's Oo! Naruto Nippon!

COMMERCIAL
The famous works of Osawa Satoru has been given life again after forty years.
A great, epic adventure.
Original Video Animation.
3/7O7 Demolition.
Now selling.
Onwards to the sea of dreams and adventure...

The three sisters from Hong Kong are here!
Spanning the world, the modern action/adventure R.O.D.
Finally a television series!
R.O.D. the TV, DVD Disc 1. Lots and lots of it from Aniplex, selling on 20th October onwards!

Aniplex Hour
Uzumaki Naruto's Oo! Naruto Nippon!

NARUTO
Oh! Naruto Nippon! We have the voice of Kakashi, Inoue Kazuhiko-san with us in the studio.

KAKASHI
That's strange...
I thought I'd won for sure...

NARUTO
You know?
/I/ make the rules here.

KAKASHI
So it's been decided from the start already?

NARUTO
/I/ make the rules.
If I want you to do it, you do it.

KAKASHI
What a self-centred girl this is...

NARUTO
If I want to withdraw then-

KAKASHI
Everyone, be careful!
This is a self-centred and cold girl!

NARUTO
Yes, I'm trying to be as mysterious as I can.

KAKASHI
That's not part of being mysterious!

NARUTO
Shut up shut up!
We have something to read here...
Academy Student from Nara, Yakandaijou-san.
Thank you for your mail.

KAKASHI
Thank you for your mail.

NARUTO
"Takeuchi-san, Inoue-san KonbanNYA!"
KonbanNYA!

KAKASHI
KonbanNYA!

NARUTO
"I have something to ask Inoue-san."

KAKASHI
All right.

NARUTO
"Inoue-san, do you always go around with questionable reading material and giggle while you read it, like Kakashi does?"

KAKASHI
I don't.

NARUTO
You see, various people have their own different images of Kazuhiko-san in their minds.

KAKASHI
Don't go around making your own impressions.

NARUTO
That's why!
We're going to talk about what kind of a person Kazuhiko-san really is, here. I think.

KAKASHI
You think?

NARUTO
I think.
I have a few impressions myself!

KAKASHI
Well, I'm actually a very serious person.

NARUTO
Serious?
You know, I don't really know if Kazuhiko-san's 'serious' is the same as a normal person's 'serious' level.
That point is under great suspicion.

KAKASHI
Ah well.
It takes all to make the world.

NARUTO
Yes it does.
Different people have different things about them, eh?

KAKASHI
I'm aiming to be a mysterious person as well.

NARUTO
Then, let's not talk about the present -
What kind of a person was Kazuhiko-san when you were a child?

KAKASHI
I was like a little prince.

NARUTO
Aww, look at how he lies! Baa, baa!

KAKASHI
Hello~
You see, if I went to the convenience store, the obaa-san's and ojii-san's there would always be passing me oranges, sweets, fried dough cake, etc.

NARUTO
Like, 'Kazu-chan, take this!'?

KAKASHI
Yes, that's right.

NARUTO
You were known as Kazu-chan?

KAKASHI
Kazu-chan. Yes.

NARUTO
Even by your friends?

KAKASHI
Eeeh... Yes. That's right.

NARUTO
Kazu-chan?

KAKASHI
Everybody called me Kazu-chan.

NARUTO
Hmm! From primary school all the way to high school?

KAKASHI
No! I think it stopped at secondary school.
When I got into high school... they all started calling me Inoue~

NARUTO
Inoue~

KAKASHI
Inoue~

NARUTO
Then, at that time, your primary and secondary school days... can you help us remember something that really characterised your life?
Something that /really/ did.

KAKASHI
Okay.

NARUTO
Were you popular then?

KAKASHI
I... was... not.
I wasn't.

NARUTO
Well to make it simple - did you get a lot of chocolates?

KAKASHI
Aah, during my time there wasn't anything like that.

NARUTO
NO WAY!

KAKASHI
Yes way.

NARUTO
Oh no, I asked something I shouldn't have!

KAKASHI
Oh well!

NARUTO
I got it.
Then, let's go forward to when you weren't really a child still.
From high school to the first half of your twenties.
Were you already working then?

KAKASHI
Ee... I started working when I was 19 years old.
In the Bochibochi show?

NARUTO
I see.
You did some really cool roles in various shows then, didn't you?
Nyanyanya nye nyee, like that?

KAKASHI
What's that?

NARUTO
You don't-, you know, Ame Ame?
Ame~... you don't get it? Candy Candy?

KAKASHI
Aaah, that.
I did do it.

NARUTO
Were you popular then?

KAKASHI
Hmm... how should I say this...
I think I got a lot of love letters from primary school children.
About primary five... primary three too.

NARUTO
You mean you got letters from girls who were older /and/ younger?

KAKASHI
Well, but they're all younger than me anyway.
They were in primary school after all...

NARUTO
You got love letters from primary school children...

KAKASHI
And in those love letters...

NARUTO
"I really like you!"

KAKASHI
Yes.

NARUTO
"Please marry me!"

KAKASHI
That's right.

NARUTO
So cute.

KAKASHI
Well when I told them my real age they never wrote to me again.

NARUTO
But from 19 to 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25...
Didn't you get letters from girls around your age at that time too?

KAKASHI
I guess so.

NARUTO
How did you feel?
Were you happy?

KAKASHI
Well, at that time I felt really good.

NARUTO
Felt really good.

KAKASHI
Really good.
Like, about 100 letters per day?

NARUTO
That would be really difficult to read. But I guess you were very happy.
That's so great!
Don't tell me that was the period of your life where you were most popular?

KAKASHI
Yes! ... I think so.
I never did think I was very popular, though.

NARUTO
Ah, in your private life?

KAKASHI
In my life...
I don't think I was ever a popular person before...

NARUTO
They say that in one lifetime you'd get two or three chances of getting popular.

KAKASHI
Oh, is that so?
Then, from now on, I guess I'll...

NARUTO
Be more popular.
Maybe right immediately after this, who knows?
How about a speech to your listeners here?

KAKASHI
I'll be in my 'nice middle' next year.

NARUTO
Nice middle.

KAKASHI
Pleased to be of service.

NARUTO
Such a 'nice middle.'

KAKASHI
Yes.
So you see, I'm a good old man already.

NARUTO
Even though he's a sober and solemn person, he's always saying and doing strange things. He's a cool oji-san, everybody.

KAKASHI
What is that?

NARUTO
He's always saying strange things but he's really very cool!
But he's still very strange!
So everybody, please remember to praise Kazuhiko-san a bit!

KAKASHI
I will do... strange things to you.

NARUTO
PERVERT!!
Anyway... we're collecting feedback from you all for the program!
Send your questions to the cast, and of course, if you have anything to ask Kazuhiko-san please send them all in.
And also Henge no Jutsu suggestions, your Nindou, Music Care, etc etc!
We'll give you something if your mail gets read!
Where should your missives all go to?

KAKASHI
Postcards should go to:
PO 552-8501
Radio Oosaka
O-! Naruto Nippon
Email should be in small letters:
naruto@obc1314.com
That's naruto@obc1314.com

NARUTO
Gather your chakra to your fingers and send your mails and postcards to the program!
Send them all in and you can become a hero datte ba yo!
And with that O-! NARUTO Nippon comes to an end.
Just a little announcement here.
On November the fifth and sixth, my office building, we're having a Love-Live! event in the Tokyo FM Hall.
And also, a CD Drama which I'm playing the lead, The Last Chapter of Taketori - Autumn, is on sale now.
For details, please visit my homepage, Takenoko Seikatsu!
Everyone, please come take a look!
And so, we'll be broadcasting next week with all our chakra as well!
I'm counting on you for next week too, Kazuhiko-san!

KAKASHI
Counting on you too!

NARUTO
So see you next week, same time!
You've been listening to Takeuchi Junko and!

KAKASHI
Inoue Kazuhiko!


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31.May.2004


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